Heading to the junkyard

Happy Halloween, Hope everyone is having a great night.

The automobile somehow managed to drag itself into a parked position, with no working engine, no stopping power. Rolling seemed its only mode of movement, like a sailboat but on land, and it was stuck , no slope or hill nearby, no sails. A still living mammoth, like a grave robber, attached a rope to the lip of the smaller creature, that sat silent, scared and lifeless. With exertion and many jerky movements taking much skill, the two were in tow,looking as a baby elephant might as it holds its mothers tail as they walk.Multiple times before their destination the two lost connection, and much peril faced the undead, yet without fail it appeared they overcame their dread and pushed onward. At the final resting place, the umbilical cord was cut and all illusions cast aside of what would come of this zombie ride, being towed to a grave, god must have forgave. What a terrible feeling to travel so far just to become scrap, but how beautiful those last few miles are, when looking back.

WELCOME

Some think I am a doormat.
Well step on up and crush my heart,
Break my dreams,
Tear me apart.
Cuz I don't need to be one piece.
Fold me at the crease,
Then tear.
And tear,
And tear.
Until there is nothin here.
But it is then when all you've won.
My ashes - your prize.
Dissappear.
And your all alone.
Shredded I drift
Free.

At what cost ?

With everything comes a price.
A token of flesh,
a Sacrifice.
A trade of something with equal or less value.
Time given for money.
Body broken for sport.
pieces of your mind for the spotlight.
Your soul offered at an abandoned crossroad,
for a brief life of guitar playing perfection.
The ability to turn all you touch to gold
for the loss of all you love true,
a victim of your greed.
A rib, your marrow, life force freely given,
for a divine mail-order bride.
Let us not forget who bit the apple first,
was the knowledge worth the death of Eden?
What are you willing to pay for what you want ?
Could you ever settle for what you already got?
Everything has a price
you have to pay.

Artificial Eden

We are the ever changing offspring of god. Defected hatch-lings crawling around in the petri dish hell hole we were abandoned in . We have in our brief existence managed to overrun this Eden with our own ideas of heaven. Cold mutilated stone awaiting the havoc of an apocalypse. Buildings dreaming to be devoured by mother earth, and become our tombs. Now that we've decided we are all powerful, that god is dead. We mutilate our selves but to no relief, our strife holds roots in misconstruction, not of body alone but spirit . Gods mistake. Upon the Almighty's grave fools dance a dance of freedom. To you wonderful animals I preach how scary freedom truly is.

Ode To top ramen

I have to say it was fun to write, and well worth it.

For those of us who know it well,
on command we remember the smell.
The hot noodles wafting in the air,
whether by stove in a pot
or over-microwaved until its hot.
Then added the little astronaut spices,
an aluminum package of unforgivable delight.
Perfect when complete.
Fit to fulfill craving,
which we all have.
These simple noodles are a delicacy to say the least,
more than that they can hold over a hungry beast.

Revalation Monarch

An old one I happen to have saved, felt fitting for today's mood. Dont Judge, just read and apply it to yourself. Have a good night.

This is the way you set yourself free
and this is the way to be me
a mad man,
who destroys all things that hold him down
like a ferocious tornado tyrant
tearing at the earth.
wearing not a frown
but a smile instead
because freedom is worthwhile.
and this is the way to start a revolution
and this is the way to think different.
All things cannot be categorized
and organized
plagiarized
or controlled.
Do not allow yourself to be any of those things.
Because this is the way to be a martyr
and this is the way you die alone and in pain
almost and angel
adorned with wings of change.
Destroying insanity.
burning the lies of society.
sacrificing innocence for truth.
this is the way you change your life.
this is the way you save your soul.
Just be you

"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true."

I feel as if today has been one of those days, the rain seemed constant as well as an overly depressive feeling cast upon the whole campus. I want to send out some happy thoughts.

Not every day can be filled with rain,
some shall be filled with sun.
days will come sooner than we can pray,
with blue skies and marshmallow clouds.
The leaves that fell from the trees will return
in spring,
the grass be more green.
It is the same for sadness,
each moment in a day
cant be filled with dismay.
The optimist would say,
"For each moment you frown
you have a chance,
no matter how slim-
to turn it
upside down."

We are what we are

We are what we are, this I see as truth. Yet it also seems we are also what we have not yet become. Is it not valid to say, some day we will be old ?The fact is we are old, it is just a matter of what degree. In each second forward we grow and change. Today I am a student, Tomorrow I could be a vagrant, a villain, a hero, a nobody. What we are is not the real question, it is who we are going to be. I wish, Instead of knowing who I am now - I could know Who I will be tomorrow or in 5 years. What a gift that could be, what a blessing. Yet in another moments reflection I have realized that I am content with the present, uninterested in the past, and hopeful of the future. I once had a teacher who believed in the power of 3, which is what you send out into the cosmos ("world") will be revisited upon you three-fold. So I hope if I send out this positive message it will come back to me somehow. LOVE YOU, EXCEPT YOU, BE YOU. Become the person you know you are now! As apposed to tomorrow, or 5 years, because we are what we are. . .

~I am called the Mad hatter for a reason, and it has nothing to do with mercury poisoning.

3rd Chance

It is a rainy day. . .unusual ? I don't think so..

I tried to walk away,
told you to have a nice day,
that I didn't want to play.
You insisted,
again I resisted,
took a step the other way.
But you called out my name,
grabbed my arm,
your insane,
not just inane.
so I turned around and decided to educate you,
" I tried to walk away but because of you I'm forced to stay, but back away, iv heard all you had to say, and been a nice guy to not make you cry, but because you lied, you can go die. I don't need your two faces or your theater masks, I can see right through you, but you never even asked. Take advantage of me once shame on you, twice and that's on me, why couldn't you just be true,blue, because now I'm through. If im looking for something fake ill be sure to come back to you, but I might go find a mannequin instead, their smiles are more real...don't let this make you think I never loved you, cuz I did, the poison of your lies- that feeling forbid. Now I hope you see why I tried to walk away, please think twice before you come to ruin my day."
Class dismissed,
cheer up, people change.
maybe in the future- after you grow up,
possibly I will show up
and I might not throw-up,
it can all be arranged.
I tried to walk away. . . .

Have a nice day.

Puzzle Pieces not fish...

So it is Sunday night. . . well Monday morning. I am tired. but awake... thinking.

Sometimes I feel like we are all just on our own, like jellyfish flouting freely in the ocean. We cross each others paths and connect whether it be in friendship or in love. And I feel like we try far to hard to hold onto those we know we cannot. It seems in the process of holding on to those people we cant we learn to forget or under-appreciate those who always are there for us. The barnacles on our back, the rest of the fish in our school. People that have stood the test of time, been there for you when no one else was and even at this moment have not stopped believing in you. This is written for those people. If they don't know who they are please inform them. When you feel like your chasing a person , holding on to someone you can't. . . let them go. There are other fish in the sea. And I propose you find those fish who will be true to you and that will be there for you ten-fifteen-twenty years down the road. Because time does fly. . . I know coming from a 18 year old some of you are thinking, "boy you got no clue" but i do. . . I am not saying do not try to keep people who you seem to be losing, by god try. I'm telling you to surround yourself with as many amazing people as you can, those who will love you unconditionally. keep the old and search out the new. . . Remember we are not all just flouting on our own in the ocean. . Screw the jellyfish analogy. If anything we are all apart of one big puzzle, and there is a place for all of us.If you could all do me a favor please find the people who you know have been there, loved you constantly, never stopped believing in you, and caught you when you fell. THANK THEM. Tell them how much you appreciate them.Even if it is as simple as I am about to do.Thank you all for reading

Dear, Mom, Dad, Grandpa R & Grandma G, Grandpa J and Grandma K, all my numerous aunts and uncles. My Wings. My Two Brothers. and All the people Iwould love to list but cant in order to protect their identities- including past teammates,coaches, teachers, and friends.

~Thank you all for believing in me and helping me get myself to where I am. Each of you has a special place in my heart and I feel bad I haven't gotten to see or talk to you in a long time. E-mail me or something, life is busy but not too busy to talk to you all. Love . . .The Mad Hatter.

bridge jump

for the first time in my life i defeated my fear of heights. i jumped off a bridge. if u have questions let me know hahaha. it was great.

Over the railing
One foot at a time .
Don't look down -
And it will be fine.
To late.
Inhibition and doubt,
Like spiders crawl
Up my spine
In my joints.
Flight response kicks in,
fighting instinct -
Forget logic.
A quick prayer .
A Leap.
Air walking,
Falling stylishly.
Letting go of all worries,
Not thinking,
Dreaming,
Just falling.
Like a stone,
Plummeting.
Then splash,
The chill of Darkness.
A Fight for air.
Go up. Go up.
Sky.
Like all falls in life,
No matter how far we drop,
Even if we hit rock bottom.
We must swim ashore
and work our way
back
up.